Have you ever asked yourself how is it like when you do things you want to do without thinking about it first? Every day we do things that help us survive and help us be someone one day. We build our own future and we forget about the fact that life is one. You have only one shot to do it right and you are afraid of the fact that you might do it wrong. Some of us didn't get the wanted education and some of us are not satisfied with the work we are doing. Some of us got a baby way too early and some of us are still single and trying to find their own match in this crazy world. But we keep forgetting one thing: We have control over our lives. Just because we lost ourselves in the woods, that doesn't mean that we can't find the right path.
Sometimes we keep complaining about things and we are not doing anything that will make us feel better. I know people who just enjoy playing victims and doing things that are hard for them to do, but they do it anyway. And you know why? Because they want other people to see their pain and feel sorry for them! Forget it! Why would you harm yourself in order to hear one "OMG, you are amazing, how do you manage doing all of that? You must be exhausted!" Cool, you hear that and then what? No one is helping you, no one makes it easier for you, so why would you ruin your life just because others could notice that you have been killing yourself?
Nevertheless, if you slipped out of the road a little bit and still feel like you want to do some things, maybe there is a way you could still do it. You only need a strong will and people that will support you in that. My friend went back to school when she was 33 years old and just because she had a strong will and people who supported her, she made it possible. My other friend had a kid and never got a chance to do things she wanted. She managed to organize her time and still do things she missed. It is all about the way you see yourself and your life. You can let yourself slip away from time to time to the road of fun and excitement. There are so many things you could do these days, only if you are strong enough to do it right. Most of us are feeling lonely and need someone who will be there for us. Some of us don't have time to go out, some of us have kids and its hard to manage work and them and still date. Luckily there are website that can assist you in that. There are always friends that will set you up a date (honestly I am more for dating services than friend hook ups, because blind dates were always weird, if you know what I mean). All in all, if you don't want to make your life better, thrust me, no one will. So do everything you always wanted to do and do it right!
Have you ever been on a blind date before? Dates set up by your friends could be really good, but also, could be a complete disaster. People are always expecting too much from each other and that is the main reason why we say that blind dates end up as a complete disaster. In order to have a successful one, you need to be rational and not to idealize things.
I did it once and it was so awkward and weird that I just can't explain that to you. I did it just for fun and I wanted to see what is it all about. I had my two girls sitting at the table next to us. A guy was okay, but when you have two persons that meet each other for the first time, you can't just skip that part when you ask each other what have you done so far in your life and what are your likes and dislikes. I have to say that a guy was okay, not my type but I think that I left an impression of a crazy girl who couldn't stop laughing. Of course I could not stop laughing because those two girls were looking at us all the time (he couldn't see them, luckily) and they heard every word of our conversation. Also, I was trying to find out which are the best topics for a first date and which are not. The moment we met and started talking, I knew that nothing will happen between us, but at the end of our date he said that it was nice meeting me, but I just don't seem like a person for him.
From my experience I can tell you few things you should not do and things you should do if you want to have a blind date. First of all, NEVER bring friends that will be in the same place you have your date, because that is how you can't be relaxed. Always do it somewhere in public, with a lot of people around you. Do not talk about your past relationships or your adventures you had. People tend to misunderstand you and create a wrong image about you. You should not reveal everything about yourself on that first date, because you don't want to open up yourself completely and find out only some basic stuff about your date. Always keep in mind that less is more. Some people tend to talk a lot about themselves and the other person might end up being uninterested. I can say that one out of ten blind dates could be successful, because it is hard to find someone who will attract you both, physically and mentally. Of course, you should be aware of the fact that people are nervous about blind dates and they are not themselves on the first date. After that first one, you both have time to think about things you said and did and the next time you meet, you will be more relaxed and you could talk about things that you did wrong or that are not understood the way you wanted them to be.
Just be honest to yourself and don't get all excited. Suit up and dress up and be yourself. It is always better of not having high hopes in something, because when you don't, it always turns out to be great.
We are all different and all of us have different lifestyles. When it comes to relationships, you can't remain the same and still have an amazing romantic story. Compromises need to be made as well as feelings of understanding and compassion. You don't have to change yourself completely, because you would lose yourself, but the point is that you need to adjust to the current partner the best way you can. Just like he/she is going to do and still be yourself.When I asked my sister how bad are her fights with her boyfriend, she said that they never had an argument. I was confused by that, because I am a firm believer that if you don't fight from time to time, that means that something is seriously wrong with that relationship. I might be mistaking, but if everything is pink and wonderful and one day you don't agree about something, that fight can mess up things really bad. If you are getting along about every single thing, that can mean that one of you is making a lot of compromises and keeps its mouth shut. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you should have arguments where you are going to yell and scream at each other and trash the entire apartment. I am saying that arguments like:" I don't like the thing you just did it hurt my feelings, can you please not do it again" are good. Expressing your feelings will help you maintain a healthy relationship. You don't have to take things just because you want everything to be fine. If you do have a relationship where you and your partner are getting along perfectly, then awesome. Just make sure that you always express what you feel, because otherwise you will lose yourself and your personality. Sure, in relationships the word "us" is important, but also it is important that you appreciate yourself as much as you appreciate your partner. When you have small arguments with your partner, you learn how to deal with that and you learn how to understand it. If you don't have it, fine, but what will you do when that eventually starts happening? In the beginning everything is magical and wonderful and of course normal thing is that you don't argue. Later on, when the relationship is getting more serious, you have to express your own opinion about the way you see things. Do not start unnecessary fights but if you feel like you have something to say, don't hold your breath, because that will come back and hunt you.
Last time we were talking about jealousy and ways on which you can leave it behind you. So here are some techniques on how you can do it right.
The first one is the one when you need to talk about your feelings. Sharing is always good. Do it with your partner, because if you want an honest and open relationship, the best things you could do is to tell the truth about how you feel. Ignoring your emotions can be even worse. If you experience jealousy and talk to someone about that, it comes out, it does not stay inside and it does not create a pressure. Sometimes when we are jealous, we want to prove ourselves to our partners and we start flirting with others in order to show that someone that we still got it and that others would like to be with us too. A lot of studies showed that direct talk with your partner about it is something that will help you deal with it. Jealousy is a powerful feeling, so you will need every help you can get to get rid of it. Of course, you are the one who will judge about your relationship. If you think that it would not be a smart idea to talk about that with your partner, then find a friend or someone else to whom you can talk to, just get it out of your system.
Every time you feel threatened and like your partner might be cheating on you, try to interpret things differently. If you partner does not pick up the one right away, you don't have to suspect that he/she is with someone else. There are many other possible scenarios and explanations. Overly jealous person will jump to a worst case scenario and make a problem out of it. Whenever that happens again, try to interpret it positively. If it is done constantly, it can help you overcome your jealousy. It is very difficult, because it is really hard for old and bad habits to die. For example if your partner does not pick up a phone right away, you can leave it on the table and say oh well, maybe he/she is stuck in the traffics. Or maybe on some meeting or left his/her phone somewhere.
For some people the worst part is that they are suspicious but they are not sure if they are right or wrong. That is the time when they have to get to the bottom of the things. Some people have a really difficult time of letting go their suspicion until they don't have enough information to make up their mind or until they get the answers they have been looking for. If you want to ask your partner everything you want to know, it is important to know when to stop. If your partner is hiding something then it is not likely to tell you everything if you ask him/her. There are other ways n which you can make that other person to be honest, but about that in some other article.
If you want to snoop, set up a time limit, like for example a week. If you don't set up a limit and don't discover anything you will fall into a never-ending quest for more information. If you don't find anything, just let it go.
No, I'm not jealous? Me, jealous? That's ridiculous! Sounds familiar? When you look at it a little bit closer and ask yourself these questions and if your answer on more than half of them is 'yes', then I'm sorry, but you are a jealous kind of person:
1. When you see your partner's ex, do you get the attack of jealousy and anger?
2. When your partner doesn't pick up the phone when you are calling, do you create weird scenarios in your head how he/she is with someone else right now, cheating on you?
3. Do you make jealous scene whenever your partner says 'hi' to a girl/guy on a street or when you see his/her picture with someone attractive?
4. Do you trust your partner only when you are with him/her?
5. Do you check your partner's phone, e-mails, pockets etc?
If at least 3 out of 5 questions you answered with 'Yes', then you should probably want to read this bellow.
We all are jealous a little bit if we care about our partner. Sometimes jealousy can be justified, but sometimes it grows so much and creates suspicious and it can become an issue. Overly jealous persons compare themselves to the rivals. Also, they feel threatened and always imagine the worst case scenario which stops them from enjoying in their relationship. It is stressful and unpleasant. If it keeps happening on a daily basis it can literally destroy your relationship. The person who has a problem with jealousy is constantly under a suspicion and tries to control everything, becomes needy and invasive. Not only that highly jealous persons drive themselves crazy but they often drive their partners crazy as well. It is very difficult to be around that kind of person, because the relationship might become spy game where the one part is trying to discover everything that is going on in other person's life. The other side tries to make it all right, but no one likes when everything that happens is turned into a negative event.
The most important thing is that you accept the fact that you have been overly jealous. That is the first and the hardest step to do. I am not saying that later in it will be easy, but admitting to yourself that it has been causing you nothing but troubles is something that will help you get rid of it. We all have some bad experiences that made us who we are now, but we can rise above it and use it to grow as individuals. If your trust has been broken once, maybe you would like to read this article that might help you get over it http://blog.blackchatcity.com/2011/05/04/learn-how-to-trust-again/
If you are simply jealous and protective about what you have, stay with us, because next time we will be talking about techniques on how to rise above the jealousy and finally beat it.